When the “I” Takes Up Too Much Space at Work
Reader Advisory
The content of this article may provoke reactions from some readers.
The intention is not to divide, but rather to invite reflection and broaden perspectives.
Collectively, we have taken a major step forward over the past few years.
A necessary and healthy one.
We opened the door to freedom of expression in the workplace.
We encouraged people to speak about their needs, their limits, and their lived experiences. We also normalized emotions, human challenges, psychological health, and vulnerability.
And that is a very good thing. TRULY.
Speaking about what lives within us helps prevent burnout, humanize workplace relationships, and create more respectful and conscious environments. Imposed silence, repressed emotions, and blind loyalty have caused enough damage in the past. We certainly do not want to return there.
But…
Like any advancement, when it is not accompanied by maturity, discernment, and structure, it can tip into excess.
And that is exactly what some organizations are experiencing right now.
By encouraging individual expression, we have sometimes forgotten a fundamental truth: an organization is a collective, in service of a mission, a vision, clients, citizens, and an impact greater than any one individual.
Today, in many teams, the « I » has taken center stage.
This is how I feel.
This is what I really think.
This is what I need to be happy.
This is what offends or irritates me.
This is what I refuse.
And slowly, insidiously—in some organizations—the « WE » fades away.
We sometimes forget that we are part of a collective, that we contribute to serving an organization. We forget that every role—regardless of hierarchy—requires a professional posture.
We also forget respect for authority, as well as gratitude toward those who finance the organization and its salaries. Several clients have shared with me their sense that they are managing individuals who would trade accountability for freedom, and others who believe everything is owed to them.
Executive Presence Is Not a Title
Executive presence is not a title—it is a responsibility. And it is certainly not reserved for senior leaders.
It is an inner stance, a way of being, standing, speaking, deciding, and building.
Having executive presence means, among other things:
Knowing when to speak… and when to remain silent.
Expressing concerns in a constructive way.
Considering the needs of others.
Being able to regulate one’s emotions.
Understanding that not everything needs to be said, shared, or debated.
Choosing impact over emotional release.
Listen carefully… This is not about denying one’s needs.
It is about expressing them with discernment—at the right place, at the right time, in the right way, and within the appropriate context. As we say so well: read the room.
When Ego Takes the Wheel
I have observed time and again that when collective consciousness weakens, ego takes over.
People feel offended, hurt, and misunderstood.
So they react. They withdraw, defend themselves, and sometimes seek revenge. They maneuver, form alliances, and without even fully realizing it, clans emerge. Validation is sought—because it feels reassuring to be understood and supported in our distress.
Conversations move from meeting rooms to hallways, text messages, heavy silences, and complicit glances.
And meanwhile… Work stops moving forward. Decisions stall. Energy drains until it becomes toxic. Leaders burn out—and unfortunately, good people leave.
“I’m Tired of Managing Conflicts”
A friend of mine, a board member, recently shared this with me—her voice heavy with exhaustion:
“I’m fed up with managing conflicts worthy of a kindergarten playground.
Ego wars, hypersensitivity, endless relational drama.
We no longer talk about mission. We no longer talk about results.
We talk about who said what, the tone that was used, perceptions, emotional wounds… and thinly veiled threats of harassment complaints.
At some point, you have to focus on the work.
Honestly, I just want to tell them: ‘Shut up and do your job.’”
In that raw sentence, there is no contempt.
There is exhaustion—and a heartfelt cry for a return to « WE ».
Serving Something Greater Than Yourself
Working in an organization is not only about personal fulfillment.
It is about contribution.
It sometimes requires:
Shifting one’s way of thinking.
Letting go of the need to be right.
Turning down the volume of the ego.
Accepting temporary discomfort.
Putting one’s talents to good use.
Helping others.
Stepping back to serve the collective.
Thinking in « WE » means remembering that we are—symbolically—like siblings. Not always aligned. Sometimes irritated. But bound by a shared responsibility.
A mature organization is recognized by responsible communication, healthy emotional and conflict management, and respect for roles and individuals. Maturity does not eliminate tension; it allows us to move through it without getting lost.
What if managerial courage today was not about self-expression at all costs, but about the ability to ask:
Is this useful?
Is this aligned with the mission?
Does this serve the « WE »?
Sometimes, the greatest leadership lies in breathing, re-centering…
and doing one’s work with dignity, rigor, and presence.
In Conclusion
Yes, freedom of expression is precious.
Yes, human needs matter.
But without collective consciousness, without professional posture, without a sense of we, it becomes noise that exhausts rather than a voice that elevates.
And sometimes, with all the love in the world and all the firmness required, the message is simple:
Let’s re-center. And let’s do our work—as responsible organizational citizens. And it starts with the « I »: self-awareness before influence.
Mylène Grégoire, M.Sc., BPsy, CRHA, PCC, FQM, is President, Coach, Mentor, and Polarity Practitioner at Mymosa &CO Conseil Inc. She is also the author of four books, including three bestsellers, a keynote speaker, and the founder of two online training programs: Brillez au boulot (approved by the Ordre des CRHA) and From Gut to Success.
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